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Bat (noun): Small, nocturnal flying mammal. Uses sonar to navigate. Not a dolphin.

Also: Object used to hit a ball in baseball or cricket.

Batty (adj): Deranged, crazy.

Bats in the news

Big news that doesn't help: COVID19 may have been transmitted initially by a bat.

Alternative theories include: secret laboratories, biological warfare and 5G cellular service. Choose one that matches the news you consume.

Notable bats

Vampire Bat: Sucks blood. Hangs upside down. Typical Friday night if you ask us.

Batman: Wears mask and fights injustice. Sounds like us in the wine section at the supermarket.

Wombat: Australian marsupial quarantining with a bunch of kangaroos. We're jealous.

Batty expressions

Batsh*t crazy: Insane. Have you seen a press conference at the White House lately?

"Old bat": Pejorative term for a senior. Personally, we'd like old bats and young to survive this pandemic.

Off the bat: Immediately. Life will go back to normal right off the bat, right?

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